In memory of Chuck Jones

Impossible fictions are inherently unscientific.

All facts in this story are false.

One charm of Chuck Jones's classic cartoons
was watching anthropomorphic animals
behaving unscientifically.

Over the Internet, where everyone could read it,
she published a narrative relating in persuasive
detail how she had dove into a river and, after
battling rough current, disappeared.

This story is not about kidnapping but
abduction.

Thousands of books she claimed she wrote even
though no one ever read any of them.

What looked like a gorilla spoke English.

She cartwheeled from one end of Manhattan to
the other.

No mammal, it capsized a ship before
disappearing into the sea.

Only when its narrator dies can this story
resume.