is a push on my shoulder from behind. "Excuse me. Excuse
me. Man. Hello. We are closed."
look around; there is a lot of produce. Am I in the
I am going to need to escort you out of the store. We are
closed for the night."
Sorry. There's no need. I must have zoned out," I turn to
exit, "Sorry again for the trouble."
check my watch; it is nine o' four pm. What the hell just
happened to me? I went in at what was it, like eight. I
remember walking in through the automatic door. The produce
aisle was right there. I squeezed some peaches. They were hard
just it. I don't remember. After the peaches. It is all blank.
family history of narcolepsy?"
it possible you misread the clock? Maybe it was nine when you
went in to the market."
if I misread, they close at nine, would they have let me
won't be letting me back in, not after this. I have absolutely
no explanation why I am lying in the cantaloupe bin. Must have
blacked out again. I am up before the security guards have to
melons. You have squashed my melons," the manager yelps.
getting out my wallet, "I'll pay for the melons," I
give the guy a ten for his trouble and leave the store with a
couple cantaloupes; they can give away the rest.
television does not take my mind off the incident. In fact,
cannot stop thinking about the cantaloupes I now have. Bet the
rind sure feels nice; that web of raised netting along the
didn't feel particularly wrong. Or right. Didn't even really
think about it. Knew they were in the fridge so I grabbed
kicked back in my easy chair with a cantaloupe on my lap. Like
it was a cat. Totally peaceful."
you sat there for how long?"
fell asleep, right there with the T.V. on. I was out for
hours. The best I've slept since my first blank-out."
is it that attracts you, Kyle, of all things, to
answer to that question eludes me like figs in a dish. I
wouldn't even say I'm attracted, just needy. Lowering my
apartment's temperature to an optimal 39 degrees allows me to
keep the freshest cantaloupes around: on top of the stereo,
the countertops, next to the lamp. This way I can try and get
my head around cantaloupes; try and see things from their
39 degrees doesn't keep cantaloupe forever. It starts to go
soft and mushy. I hate waste, so I search the web: turns out
you can can cantaloupe. I have plenty of jars so I slice up
some cantaloupe and slide it. into. glass. cantaloupes.
against the glass, all…very familiar. When I was very small.
With my blanket. Sitting on a bean bag. When the door opens.
Dad is there. He brought home a jar. "This is all that is
left," he says. Floating inside the jar, pressing out on
the glass, what looks like a melon. They took this out of her,
he explained. They thought they could save her. Dad saved the
jar stayed with us on the mantle in the parlor through all the
TV dinners and football games but I could never touch or hold
these cantaloupes bring us closer than ever before.